Whoever said "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" was wrong. Words carry tangible power that can mean the difference between empowerment and discouragement, especially for young and developing minds.
In our culture today, being called "F-A-T" is one of the biggest insults someone can give. It's clear that we don't like body fat. Weight stigma/ weight prejudice is the last socially acceptable prejudice and is the leading cause of bullying in schools. It continues into adulthood in employment opportunities, healthcare, interpersonal relationships and negative portrayal in the media. Often if someone carries excess weight, all kinds of assumptions may lurk in other's minds "oh they're so lazy, they must have NO self control, how can they live like this." Fat people are often the target of such judgmental statements, which can be far more damaging than carrying a few extra pounds.
A recent study concluded that almost half of 6-8 year old girls want to be thinner, and that 81 percent of 10 year olds are afraid of becoming fat. Diet culture grips children as young as 9 years old; one study found that half of fourth grade girls are "on a diet."
Girls who are told by a parent, sibling, friend, classmate or teacher that they are too fat at age 10 are more likely to be a very high weight (obese) at age 19. (UCLA JAMA Pediatrics, 2014) The researchers statistically removed data that could effect their long-term weight (original weight, income, race, age of puberty onset), and the outcome was clear: it’s not just that girls of higher weight are called too fat and are still a high weight years later. The mental weight of being labeled as "too fat" created an additional likelihood of being a very high weight even a decade later. Why? Those judgmental words lead people to worry about experiencing the stigma and discrimination faced by higher weight individuals. Research indicates that experiencing or anticipating weight stigma increases stress and can lead to overeating or weight loss practices that result in overeating.
In my experience weight bullying is a frequent cause of all eating disorders. Our lives are so much more than our weight. Next time you want to compliment someone on their weight loss, think about how you can rephrase that to compliment their strength, resilience, perseverance or confidence. Those are infinitely more important than the number on a scale, and we should be raising them up in stead of focusing only on physical appearance. If you see someone has gained weight, check in - they may be going through a hard time, have an invisible illness or need a little empathetic comfort. Physical appearance is fleeting - we all age, our bodies will all change, but strong personal traits will endure.
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